Since I have forgotten the weeks I'm on, I figure I'll just make up random titles! Thanks everyone for your support and continued reading. We have had some very interesting developments this week. First, Dad saw the neurologist this week and they took a new CT scan of Dad's brain. The bad news is Dad has a permanent hole the size of a quarter where the brain damage was. The good news is the neurologist thinks Dad should make a full recovery. Apparently, the neurons in the brain will connect around the hole and Dad will regain his speech. I just can't believe how amazing the brain is. Dad has a giant hole in his brain and he will be alright? Crazy!
While visiting the University Hospital Dad was able to meet several doctors and nurses who helped in his care while in the Nero Critical Care Unit. He also got to see the room that he had occupied while there. Dad thought this was the coolest thing ever. He has talked about it all day long. You can only imagine his delight to be able to say "Thank you" to those that helped him live.
We have been going down memory lane about the accident quite a bit this week. I spent the evening with Dad last night and he wanted to know what I did while he was in the hospital. I told him I would sit with him and sing to him. It's hard for Dad to comprehend what happened. Can you imagine what it would be like to be apart of an accident but unable to empathize (is that the right word or is it sympathize) because you can't remember it. That has got to be the weirdest feeling ever.
On the other hand this Saturday we got our new sound system equipment. Dad was extremely jazzed to start setting up the equipment and start learning how to use it. Dad was so excited that he was ready to start up our open mic night this Friday! He was ready to get on the phone and make calls and send out ads. We had to reign him in a little and we compromised by having a jam session with a few of his good friends! As for Dad's benefit I will keep you posted as that progresses. We need some time to get familiar with the sound system, how to work it, how to arrange, the best set up, etc... It's going to be awesome when we finally open.
Mom stays very busy taking care of Dad. I can't believe how busy they are. Dad has speech therapy, then vocational therapy, then a support group meeting, then the foot doctor, then... it just goes on and on. I can't believe how much Dad needs. I am amazed with how well Mom takes care of Dad. It is not an easy road to take care of someone.
Flipping things again, Mark, Dad's old friend came out today and took Dad up to Snowbasin to watch some snowboarding competitions. Dad had a great time and couldn't believe how much Snowbasin had changed. I hung out with Mom and Dad all day today. We didn't do much, just talked and tried to relax while my kids screamed all day!
Oh, I did notice something funny that I have been doing lately without even thinking about it. Whenever I am near Dad I always stand close enough to him that I am touching him. For instance, the other day I hung out with Dad and he was sitting on the couch. Well, instead of sitting on the other side of the couch I sat down right next to him so that we were squished to one side. I didn't notice until later that evening when I went to sit down and did the same thing. I don't know, I think it's just nice to feel his warm arm against mine and to think that I almost lost that. One dan't take anything for granted...ever.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Oh Heck I can't Remember the week I'm on
Hey Everyone, hope you all are still reading this. I know it has been a couple of weeks and I apologize. If I don't write on a weekly basis I believe little things get lost. So I will try not to do that again! For myself and my little family things have been crazy hectic. I just got a new job and so my day consists of being Meyer Family Children Coordinator, NDJH ZAP (North Davis Jr. High Zero's Are Prohibited) Coordinator, Husband Supervisor, again Meyer Children Coordinator, Chef, then Sleep Manager! I have thought about writing everyday and get a sick feeling in my tummy each night I go to bed and again have forgotten to write. So it is now 9:49PM and kids and hubby have fallen asleep. So finally I get a little time to myself before I crash and I'm excited to fill everyone in on what has happened these last 2 weeks.
Well, New Years was fun and not to chaotic! I spent the evening at Mom and Dad's house. We decided to make a big batch of Spaghetti in case Erin came over. Dad and the girls watched "Coraline Jones," as Sage would call the movie. (Sage loves the part that Coraline mimics her mother!) Dad loves watching movies. He says he sees things differently then before. Perhaps he has a new perspective on life? Perhaps he just appreciates things we take for granted? Perhaps the damage in his head unlocked some new function that he never had access to? Who knows. But it is so fun to watch Dad watch a movie with Sage and Ramie. He comments on everything and gets the kids all excited for what might happen next. I love to listen to Dad watch movies. He will say "oh, wow, she is beautiful," or "oh, he loves her." It's almost like a kid watching a movie. The kids like it too, because usually we adults tell them to be quiet and watch, but Grandpa talks as much as they do!
Dad has not lost his taste for good food (or telling people what they need for their recipe!) Mom and I made a quick Spaghetti, we were more focused on eating then extreme flavor! Dad wasn't too impressed with our sauce. He ate a little then said he wasn't hungry. It just needed a bit more salt. Besides Spaghetti always tastes better the next day when the spices have had time to sit. After dinner, Dad seemed pretty tired and wanted to go to bed. He asked Mom if she would wake him up but she has had experience waking Dad up before and he isn't very nice about it! So we all headed over to Erin's house while Dad slept.
At Midnight we banged pots and pans and lit off some illegal fireworks. (If any cops read this illegal is a misprint.) We decided January is the best time to let off these frowned upon fireworks. This way with the snow on the ground they won't start a giant fire! Hee hee. Mom and I left Erin's house directly after midnight. When we got back Dad was still in bed. I do think he got up at some point and tried working his Facebook, but Dad was too tired to make it to midnight. Sage and Ramie and I stayed the night.
The next morning we had a delicious Crowley breakfast with bacon, sausage, grits, and eggs sunny side up! After breakfast, the girls and I helped Mom put away her Christmas tree. Dad watched and kept saying it had been such a great tree.
So that is about all in the way of big events. Dad continues to get better, baby steps everyday. Yes, Dad has lost a lot of his songs. The newer ones he never wrote the words down, so we are having difficulty helping Dad remember those. Does anyone have the words or can remember any of the song that Dad wrote about himself? It was really funny, the last line of the chorus went "I don't give a heck about that." I've been trying to help Dad remember his songs. When he has a Brain Surge (that is what I call them) I grab a piece of paper and write down everything he is remembering at that moment. Then I hope next time he gets a Brain Surge instead of starting from scratch we can start with what we had already remembered together.
Dad's guitar playing gets a lot better each day also. This weekend he played "Down to the River to Pray" with Steve our other guitarist in church. They sounded AWESOME. Then today Dad told me he pulled out a couple other songs that he was beginning to remember.
OH, I think in February, I haven't set a date. We are going to have a benefit for Dad. Soon we will be opening our open mic. night and coffee. When we open I also want to make it a benefit for Dad. So spread the word and come listen to Dad (maybe) and some local artists play. We will be selling Dad's CD to help raise some money to help my parents with medical bills. We would love to have as many people as possible come. If you can't make it the night I schedule, you will still be able to buy a CD. I will let you all know more about this as I get things more solid.
Ha Ha, so last weekend on Friday Jan. 8th Matt (hubby) and I piled Dad and the girls into our Subaru and took a drive up to Idaho. Dad has been wanting to play the lottery ever since he started talking. Since last Saturdays draw was for 25 million I figured that it would be a fun drive to play the Powerball. Dad had a great time. We drove up to Malad, Idaho. On the way we talked a lot about Dad's songs, his accident, working for the railroad, Pocatello, and more. On the way home we stopped off at Smith and Edwards (it's a sporting goods store and more.) Dad had a blast in there looking at the fishing gear and different odd and ends. It was so funny because Dad has to ride around using the wheeled carts and Ramie and Sage like to ride on his lap. Dad gets a kick out of driving the girls around. Needless to say we didn't win the Powerball...this time. Next weeks is up to 30 Mil.
I can't wait until Dad can get his cast off of his foot so he can get around better. We think he may need surgery though. The bone doesn't seem to be healing and still gives Dad a lot of trouble when he removes the "Boot."
Well, that's all for tonight, my arms are getting sore from typing. Let me know if you all are still following. Sorry, I hope the next one won't be too long coming. Love you all.
Well, New Years was fun and not to chaotic! I spent the evening at Mom and Dad's house. We decided to make a big batch of Spaghetti in case Erin came over. Dad and the girls watched "Coraline Jones," as Sage would call the movie. (Sage loves the part that Coraline mimics her mother!) Dad loves watching movies. He says he sees things differently then before. Perhaps he has a new perspective on life? Perhaps he just appreciates things we take for granted? Perhaps the damage in his head unlocked some new function that he never had access to? Who knows. But it is so fun to watch Dad watch a movie with Sage and Ramie. He comments on everything and gets the kids all excited for what might happen next. I love to listen to Dad watch movies. He will say "oh, wow, she is beautiful," or "oh, he loves her." It's almost like a kid watching a movie. The kids like it too, because usually we adults tell them to be quiet and watch, but Grandpa talks as much as they do!
Dad has not lost his taste for good food (or telling people what they need for their recipe!) Mom and I made a quick Spaghetti, we were more focused on eating then extreme flavor! Dad wasn't too impressed with our sauce. He ate a little then said he wasn't hungry. It just needed a bit more salt. Besides Spaghetti always tastes better the next day when the spices have had time to sit. After dinner, Dad seemed pretty tired and wanted to go to bed. He asked Mom if she would wake him up but she has had experience waking Dad up before and he isn't very nice about it! So we all headed over to Erin's house while Dad slept.
At Midnight we banged pots and pans and lit off some illegal fireworks. (If any cops read this illegal is a misprint.) We decided January is the best time to let off these frowned upon fireworks. This way with the snow on the ground they won't start a giant fire! Hee hee. Mom and I left Erin's house directly after midnight. When we got back Dad was still in bed. I do think he got up at some point and tried working his Facebook, but Dad was too tired to make it to midnight. Sage and Ramie and I stayed the night.
The next morning we had a delicious Crowley breakfast with bacon, sausage, grits, and eggs sunny side up! After breakfast, the girls and I helped Mom put away her Christmas tree. Dad watched and kept saying it had been such a great tree.
So that is about all in the way of big events. Dad continues to get better, baby steps everyday. Yes, Dad has lost a lot of his songs. The newer ones he never wrote the words down, so we are having difficulty helping Dad remember those. Does anyone have the words or can remember any of the song that Dad wrote about himself? It was really funny, the last line of the chorus went "I don't give a heck about that." I've been trying to help Dad remember his songs. When he has a Brain Surge (that is what I call them) I grab a piece of paper and write down everything he is remembering at that moment. Then I hope next time he gets a Brain Surge instead of starting from scratch we can start with what we had already remembered together.
Dad's guitar playing gets a lot better each day also. This weekend he played "Down to the River to Pray" with Steve our other guitarist in church. They sounded AWESOME. Then today Dad told me he pulled out a couple other songs that he was beginning to remember.
OH, I think in February, I haven't set a date. We are going to have a benefit for Dad. Soon we will be opening our open mic. night and coffee. When we open I also want to make it a benefit for Dad. So spread the word and come listen to Dad (maybe) and some local artists play. We will be selling Dad's CD to help raise some money to help my parents with medical bills. We would love to have as many people as possible come. If you can't make it the night I schedule, you will still be able to buy a CD. I will let you all know more about this as I get things more solid.
Ha Ha, so last weekend on Friday Jan. 8th Matt (hubby) and I piled Dad and the girls into our Subaru and took a drive up to Idaho. Dad has been wanting to play the lottery ever since he started talking. Since last Saturdays draw was for 25 million I figured that it would be a fun drive to play the Powerball. Dad had a great time. We drove up to Malad, Idaho. On the way we talked a lot about Dad's songs, his accident, working for the railroad, Pocatello, and more. On the way home we stopped off at Smith and Edwards (it's a sporting goods store and more.) Dad had a blast in there looking at the fishing gear and different odd and ends. It was so funny because Dad has to ride around using the wheeled carts and Ramie and Sage like to ride on his lap. Dad gets a kick out of driving the girls around. Needless to say we didn't win the Powerball...this time. Next weeks is up to 30 Mil.
I can't wait until Dad can get his cast off of his foot so he can get around better. We think he may need surgery though. The bone doesn't seem to be healing and still gives Dad a lot of trouble when he removes the "Boot."
Well, that's all for tonight, my arms are getting sore from typing. Let me know if you all are still following. Sorry, I hope the next one won't be too long coming. Love you all.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Week 8 of Jim's Recovery
Well, Merry Christmas! Christmas was a little bitter sweet this year. Sweet because we had Dad here. I can't imagine and hate to imagine where we could have been this holiday season. Bitter because for some of us Christmas doesn't bring any relief from our sorrows, being several loved ones were missed this season.
Let's see what happened this week. Oh, I did forget to mention that we found out that Dad's foot was broken. Mom took Dad to a foot specialist and they x-rayed Dad's foot again. The podiatrist asked who looked at Dad's foot at the hospital because the foot was obviously broken. In fact the bone that was broken has been shattered and the doctor is hoping he does not have to operate to remove the part of the bone that was broken. In the doctor report from the hospital it states that there was no fracture found. Hmmm, need some better people reading x-rays then. Well, at least Dad's brain is healing! Hope the hospital didn't overlook anything there! So now Dad's foot is in a "wet" cast and he has a boot on. He walks, OBVIOUSLY, much better now and only needs a crutch to walk instead of a walker. This doesn't make Mom any less nervous with him going up and down stairs! Ice is our worst enemy right now! And avoiding falls is our main objective.
Some of you may have received a phone call or an e-mail from Dad this week. Pretty awesome, I know. The fact that Dad can call/e-mail friends is amazing since we didn't think he would be talking at all. If you got an e-mail or phone call you would understand that Dad still is having difficulty with his speech. The best way to describe Dad's speech problem is that he seems to forget nouns or the subject of his sentence. He can't think of the word. He can explain it or maybe draw a picture, but he calls lots of things "stuff" or "things." E-mails are a little bit harder to understand but if you read them more phonetically you will be able to understand Dad's e-mails better.
We do have a request for those that are receiving calls or e-mails from Dad. If Dad invites you over to the house PLEASE call Mom first before making the plans official. Like we have said before, Dad gets tired very fast, and Mom may have plans for Dad that he can't remember. So please e-mail or call Mom or ask to speak to Mom if Dad makes plans with you. Right now is a very, very, very frustrating time for both Mom and Dad. Dad is bored and is worried about friends that don't know what might have happened to him. Dad starts to obsess about things, like visiting a friend, or if his dogs are okay. Mom is trying to take care of Dad. She sees what makes him tired and how he acts once he is tired. She tries to tell Dad what he needs to get better and Dad will get extremely agitated with her. We were told this would happen but for Mom to have to take care of Dad all on her own and have him continually get angry with her wears her down.
We didn't do much for Christmas this year. We wanted to play things by ear because we wanted to see how Dad was feeling. So Christmas eve we didn't do anything, well together as a family. Dad was going to play at the Midnight Service at church but became too agitated to be able to make it. So I didn't see Mom or Dad on Christmas Eve. Christmas Day we had dinner at Erin's house. Erin made a delicious turkey dinner. Dad has gotten his appetite back, finally! Dad had two giant helpings of turkey, mashed potatoes, and green beans. Dad kept insisting that it would be okay to give the turkey bones to the dogs and we had to continually remind him that turkey was like chicken and the bones could kill the dogs. After dinner and the kids opening presents Dad got tired, so we took him home. I think Dad was only out of the house for two hours with us before he was tired. See he gets overstimulated very quickly. And that was our Christmas.
Let's see what happened this week. Oh, I did forget to mention that we found out that Dad's foot was broken. Mom took Dad to a foot specialist and they x-rayed Dad's foot again. The podiatrist asked who looked at Dad's foot at the hospital because the foot was obviously broken. In fact the bone that was broken has been shattered and the doctor is hoping he does not have to operate to remove the part of the bone that was broken. In the doctor report from the hospital it states that there was no fracture found. Hmmm, need some better people reading x-rays then. Well, at least Dad's brain is healing! Hope the hospital didn't overlook anything there! So now Dad's foot is in a "wet" cast and he has a boot on. He walks, OBVIOUSLY, much better now and only needs a crutch to walk instead of a walker. This doesn't make Mom any less nervous with him going up and down stairs! Ice is our worst enemy right now! And avoiding falls is our main objective.
Some of you may have received a phone call or an e-mail from Dad this week. Pretty awesome, I know. The fact that Dad can call/e-mail friends is amazing since we didn't think he would be talking at all. If you got an e-mail or phone call you would understand that Dad still is having difficulty with his speech. The best way to describe Dad's speech problem is that he seems to forget nouns or the subject of his sentence. He can't think of the word. He can explain it or maybe draw a picture, but he calls lots of things "stuff" or "things." E-mails are a little bit harder to understand but if you read them more phonetically you will be able to understand Dad's e-mails better.
We do have a request for those that are receiving calls or e-mails from Dad. If Dad invites you over to the house PLEASE call Mom first before making the plans official. Like we have said before, Dad gets tired very fast, and Mom may have plans for Dad that he can't remember. So please e-mail or call Mom or ask to speak to Mom if Dad makes plans with you. Right now is a very, very, very frustrating time for both Mom and Dad. Dad is bored and is worried about friends that don't know what might have happened to him. Dad starts to obsess about things, like visiting a friend, or if his dogs are okay. Mom is trying to take care of Dad. She sees what makes him tired and how he acts once he is tired. She tries to tell Dad what he needs to get better and Dad will get extremely agitated with her. We were told this would happen but for Mom to have to take care of Dad all on her own and have him continually get angry with her wears her down.
We didn't do much for Christmas this year. We wanted to play things by ear because we wanted to see how Dad was feeling. So Christmas eve we didn't do anything, well together as a family. Dad was going to play at the Midnight Service at church but became too agitated to be able to make it. So I didn't see Mom or Dad on Christmas Eve. Christmas Day we had dinner at Erin's house. Erin made a delicious turkey dinner. Dad has gotten his appetite back, finally! Dad had two giant helpings of turkey, mashed potatoes, and green beans. Dad kept insisting that it would be okay to give the turkey bones to the dogs and we had to continually remind him that turkey was like chicken and the bones could kill the dogs. After dinner and the kids opening presents Dad got tired, so we took him home. I think Dad was only out of the house for two hours with us before he was tired. See he gets overstimulated very quickly. And that was our Christmas.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Week 7 of Jim's Recovery
Well, since I am now writing on a weekly basis I have to change the titles to each of my entry's. Dad went into the hospital on the night of November 3rd, so I am just counting that entire week as number one. So anyways, this week has been great! Dad improves just a little everyday.
At the beginning of the week Dad decided he wanted to make some Chili Verde. Mom called me and told me that Dad would be making dinner. I offered to come over with my recipe Dad had given me and just keep an eye out in case Dad had trouble remembering what was needed. I grabbed Ramie from school and stopped at the store to pick up something for Mom before heading out to their house. As I was leaving the store my phone rang. I looked at who was calling and it said "Dad's Cell." I thought perhaps Mom was calling on Dad's phone because I hadn't talked to Dad on the phone since before his accident. I didn't even think he could use the phone yet! Well, you probably could understand my surprise when I answered and Dad was on the other end. Here's how the conversation went!
"Hey Dad, I'm surprised to have you call me."
"Yes, well I was wondering if you were coming out for dinner? I made some of my stuff."
"Yeah, Mom told me you were making Chili Verde. You already made it?"
"Yeah, that's it, but I need some more of those things that you put in the stuff."
"Chili's?"
"Yeah, chili's. Could you get me some of those?"
"Sure, anything else?"
"Nope, see you in a bit. Bye."
"Bye!"
Okay two things about this. First, this is how Dad talks. So whenever you talk with Dad it's like you have to be one step ahead of him so that you know what "stuff" he is talking about! Dad gets frustrated because he knows what he wants to say but can't remember the words. He does a good job of either spelling the word or drawing a picture. Usually, if you give him a minute he can explain what he wants. I think with Mom, Erin, and I we don't let him describe what he wants enough because we are always one step ahead of him in the conversation. It's hard for us to remember to let him explain things first before giving him the word he is looking for.
Second, I couldn't believe Dad had made the Chili Verde all on his own! I thought for sure that he would need help remembering the recipe, but he made it without the recipe! When I got there I was surprised to see that the dishes were all done also. Mom said that Dad cooked and cleaned the dishes all himself!! EXCELLENT. Then I thought that the Chili Verde would not taste very good. Again, to my surprise it was excellent! I think it was even better then when Dad made it before. Dad may have a hard time remembering words but his excellent cooking skills are still there. It's so hard to believe that it is only his speech that has been affected.
Then Wednesday Aunt Jody and Uncle Tom came in town. Jody is Dad's sister. It was so wonderful to have them in town and to be able to visit with Dad. Dad had a great time visiting with them. You know you look at people differently when you think you have lost them. To watch Dad and Jody together was wonderful. They have always been friends but, I don't know, to watch them from afar I could almost get a sense of what it would have been like to watch them as kids. It's kind of a sobering moment when you see your parents and relatives as children or as humans other then your parents or relatives. Do you know what I mean? It was so wonderful to watch Dad and Jody listening to music on the Internet, I could see the brother and sister love between them. It was really cool. Sorry if that sounds cheesy. It's just really hard to explain.
The greatest thing that happened this week, I think, was that Dad sang in church. He wanted to play his guitar and wasn't sure if he could sing the words. We let Dad choose the song, which was "Jehovah, the Lord will Provide." This was sung by Harry Belefonte and is Dad's favorite Christmas song. Actually, the Harry Belefonte Christmas album is a huge Crowley Family tradition. If you haven't listened to it, do. It's not officially Christmas until we listen to this album. I think it started with my Grandma Rachel because she had the record and played it all the time.
So our little choir group practiced the song on Saturday. Dad had a hard time remembering the verses, so we had Dad sing the chorus and we sang the verses. It was simple, sweet, and the most beautiful song I have ever heard. Dad played his guitar and had the song down flawless. Then on Sunday, Dad said a few words to the congregation before we sang. He told everyone that he hadn't forgotten a thing about the Bountiful Community Church or about the people. He said he has forgotten names, but not faces! He said he was so thankful for everyone and all their friendship. Dad said that he cries all the time now. He said that before the accident he saw crying as a weakness but now he has learned that it is the best way to express emotion because it is so powerful. He said that crying actually shows love not weakness and he is happy that he can now cry. He also said that he has always felt the love of the people at church but that he now knows the love of Jesus. Dad has NEVER said that before.
One thing I am so thankful for this season is the gift of miracles. Everyone has miracles in their lives. Sometimes we just can't see them at the time. Dad's fall has been a miracle and a curse. No one is more blessed over another, we weren't more blessed then the next person because Dad made it through this. We just are. We are thankful. We are sad. We will continue. We will remember. We will never take for granted. We will hug. We will love. We will help. We will appreciate life with all it's ups and downs.
We wish everyone a Merry Christmas, a Healing Christmas, and a Hopeful New Year.
P.S. If you would like to see Dad play his guitar. I think he will be playing at the Christmas Eve service at the Bountiful Community Church. All are welcome to come. It starts at 11:00PM. I don't know the exact address.
At the beginning of the week Dad decided he wanted to make some Chili Verde. Mom called me and told me that Dad would be making dinner. I offered to come over with my recipe Dad had given me and just keep an eye out in case Dad had trouble remembering what was needed. I grabbed Ramie from school and stopped at the store to pick up something for Mom before heading out to their house. As I was leaving the store my phone rang. I looked at who was calling and it said "Dad's Cell." I thought perhaps Mom was calling on Dad's phone because I hadn't talked to Dad on the phone since before his accident. I didn't even think he could use the phone yet! Well, you probably could understand my surprise when I answered and Dad was on the other end. Here's how the conversation went!
"Hey Dad, I'm surprised to have you call me."
"Yes, well I was wondering if you were coming out for dinner? I made some of my stuff."
"Yeah, Mom told me you were making Chili Verde. You already made it?"
"Yeah, that's it, but I need some more of those things that you put in the stuff."
"Chili's?"
"Yeah, chili's. Could you get me some of those?"
"Sure, anything else?"
"Nope, see you in a bit. Bye."
"Bye!"
Okay two things about this. First, this is how Dad talks. So whenever you talk with Dad it's like you have to be one step ahead of him so that you know what "stuff" he is talking about! Dad gets frustrated because he knows what he wants to say but can't remember the words. He does a good job of either spelling the word or drawing a picture. Usually, if you give him a minute he can explain what he wants. I think with Mom, Erin, and I we don't let him describe what he wants enough because we are always one step ahead of him in the conversation. It's hard for us to remember to let him explain things first before giving him the word he is looking for.
Second, I couldn't believe Dad had made the Chili Verde all on his own! I thought for sure that he would need help remembering the recipe, but he made it without the recipe! When I got there I was surprised to see that the dishes were all done also. Mom said that Dad cooked and cleaned the dishes all himself!! EXCELLENT. Then I thought that the Chili Verde would not taste very good. Again, to my surprise it was excellent! I think it was even better then when Dad made it before. Dad may have a hard time remembering words but his excellent cooking skills are still there. It's so hard to believe that it is only his speech that has been affected.
Then Wednesday Aunt Jody and Uncle Tom came in town. Jody is Dad's sister. It was so wonderful to have them in town and to be able to visit with Dad. Dad had a great time visiting with them. You know you look at people differently when you think you have lost them. To watch Dad and Jody together was wonderful. They have always been friends but, I don't know, to watch them from afar I could almost get a sense of what it would have been like to watch them as kids. It's kind of a sobering moment when you see your parents and relatives as children or as humans other then your parents or relatives. Do you know what I mean? It was so wonderful to watch Dad and Jody listening to music on the Internet, I could see the brother and sister love between them. It was really cool. Sorry if that sounds cheesy. It's just really hard to explain.
The greatest thing that happened this week, I think, was that Dad sang in church. He wanted to play his guitar and wasn't sure if he could sing the words. We let Dad choose the song, which was "Jehovah, the Lord will Provide." This was sung by Harry Belefonte and is Dad's favorite Christmas song. Actually, the Harry Belefonte Christmas album is a huge Crowley Family tradition. If you haven't listened to it, do. It's not officially Christmas until we listen to this album. I think it started with my Grandma Rachel because she had the record and played it all the time.
So our little choir group practiced the song on Saturday. Dad had a hard time remembering the verses, so we had Dad sing the chorus and we sang the verses. It was simple, sweet, and the most beautiful song I have ever heard. Dad played his guitar and had the song down flawless. Then on Sunday, Dad said a few words to the congregation before we sang. He told everyone that he hadn't forgotten a thing about the Bountiful Community Church or about the people. He said he has forgotten names, but not faces! He said he was so thankful for everyone and all their friendship. Dad said that he cries all the time now. He said that before the accident he saw crying as a weakness but now he has learned that it is the best way to express emotion because it is so powerful. He said that crying actually shows love not weakness and he is happy that he can now cry. He also said that he has always felt the love of the people at church but that he now knows the love of Jesus. Dad has NEVER said that before.
One thing I am so thankful for this season is the gift of miracles. Everyone has miracles in their lives. Sometimes we just can't see them at the time. Dad's fall has been a miracle and a curse. No one is more blessed over another, we weren't more blessed then the next person because Dad made it through this. We just are. We are thankful. We are sad. We will continue. We will remember. We will never take for granted. We will hug. We will love. We will help. We will appreciate life with all it's ups and downs.
We wish everyone a Merry Christmas, a Healing Christmas, and a Hopeful New Year.
P.S. If you would like to see Dad play his guitar. I think he will be playing at the Christmas Eve service at the Bountiful Community Church. All are welcome to come. It starts at 11:00PM. I don't know the exact address.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Day 39 of Jim's Recovery
Because Dad has reached a plateau in his development I'm only going to be updating this on Fridays and Mondays. If there are any significant events I will post them. Right now not much has changed. Dad continues to slowly get better but then goes backward in his development. We were told this from the beginning by the doctors. They said that Dad would get better quickly, then plateau, then later and all of a sudden there will be another big development, and so on. Dad continues to work on his language skills. Some days are better then others. One day Dad will start talking really well and the next he can hardly remember the right words he wants to say.
Dad's moods change drastically also. Mom said that the other night he was really tired around 7:00PM and needed to take a nap. Dad asked Mom to wake him at 8:00 because he said he kept waking up in the middle of the night. Well, of course Mom woke Dad up and when she did he was really mean and short with her. Very uncharacteristic of Dad. Yeah Mom and Dad get irritated at each other like any married couple, but apparently this was really bad. I can't recall the things Dad said but they were harsher then being agitated that he was woken up from his nap. I guess he did it again later that evening when she went into the bedroom to check on him and he was almost falling off the bed.
Dad gets extremely anxious also. He worries about little things that Dad never worried about before. On Thursday, my sister and I, and our kids went over to Mom and Dad's to help them decorate their Christmas tree. As the kids were putting on the non-fragile items Dad was extremely anxious about how the kids were putting the ornaments on the tree, that they kept dropping them, walking around the tree, and the correct way they should have been putting the ornaments on the tree. Dad never worried about silly stuff like that. Perhaps, he did but just had the coping skills necessary to not let them show. I'm not sure, but it is so strange to see Dad get worked up over little things like that.
One little thing that I noticed the other day that is uncharacteristic of Dad is his like for stupid movies! Dad has always been an extreme critic about movies. It's hard for people like Dad who have been raised to appreciate good literature to ignore bad plots in movies. If the story line has no body and is easily seen through then what is the purpose of watching the show, according to Dad. I'm also one who loves good literature but I do love to turn off my suspension of disbelief and just watch the movie and enjoy it for what it is! Well, the other day Dad was watching "The Time Machine"(2002). Now I apologize to any out there that liked this movie, but this is one of those shows that no matter how hard I tried to enjoy the movie, it just rubbed me the wrong way and in my book was really stupid! Dad thought so too, I remember! Anyways, he finished watching it and said that it was a great show. I couldn't believe my ears. I even stopped putting lights on the Christmas tree to look at Mom. I didn't have to say anything for her to understand why I looked at her. She said "I know! He likes movies now that before he would have thought were stupid." Oh, man I hope that doesn't last. I loved critiquing movies with Dad.
It's so hard to be around Dad sometimes because he seems so normal and yet he isn't. And it is so hard to explain to people that he is doing wonderful but he still isn't there. Don't get me wrong I am positive Dad will get back a lot that has been lost, but how much? I would rather have Dad the way he is now then loosing him so suddenly to such an awful accident, trust me. It just still blows my mind when he does things non Jim-esk! I think it will just take time to get used to.
Things aren't all negative like this post is starting to sound like. I apologize for that I'm not feeling pessimistic or depressed in anyway. I guess I just had more on my mind then I thought I did. It was wonderful to decorate the tree at Mom and Dad's the other day. We turned on our traditional "Harry Belafonte Christmas" and had a great time decorating the tree. We used a lot of old ornaments that were my Dad's as a child. They are the best ornaments ever. They are made of wood and are just different characters, some Christmas-y, some not. For instance, there is a basketball player and an angel. We added Dad's favorite Icicle Men and two little elves at the top. Dad sat by the fire and freaked out every time one of us stood on the ladder to reach the top branches! We drank hot chocolate and then let the kids have their turn. Erin and I sat by Dad while Mom helped the kids. We had a wonderful time and I am so thankful to add this to my Christmas memories.
One thing that I am extremely grateful that Dad has not carried over from before the accident is his kind of stand offish behavior when it came to showing affection to Erin and I. I mean, Dad always gave us hugs to say Hi and Bye, and always told us he loved us. It's very hard to explain. For instance, in church today I was sitting next to Dad and I put my arm around his back and was rubbing his shoulders or just relaxing my arm on the back of his seat. Before this Dad would just sit there and not really return the affection. Sometimes I felt bad but I knew that it wasn't because Dad didn't love me but that he was just raised in a different time. Well, today Dad put his hand on my knee to return the affection and left it there. I was so happy that Dad responded to my affections. I thought to myself, I hope that he doesn't loose this as he regains what he lost.
Dad's moods change drastically also. Mom said that the other night he was really tired around 7:00PM and needed to take a nap. Dad asked Mom to wake him at 8:00 because he said he kept waking up in the middle of the night. Well, of course Mom woke Dad up and when she did he was really mean and short with her. Very uncharacteristic of Dad. Yeah Mom and Dad get irritated at each other like any married couple, but apparently this was really bad. I can't recall the things Dad said but they were harsher then being agitated that he was woken up from his nap. I guess he did it again later that evening when she went into the bedroom to check on him and he was almost falling off the bed.
Dad gets extremely anxious also. He worries about little things that Dad never worried about before. On Thursday, my sister and I, and our kids went over to Mom and Dad's to help them decorate their Christmas tree. As the kids were putting on the non-fragile items Dad was extremely anxious about how the kids were putting the ornaments on the tree, that they kept dropping them, walking around the tree, and the correct way they should have been putting the ornaments on the tree. Dad never worried about silly stuff like that. Perhaps, he did but just had the coping skills necessary to not let them show. I'm not sure, but it is so strange to see Dad get worked up over little things like that.
One little thing that I noticed the other day that is uncharacteristic of Dad is his like for stupid movies! Dad has always been an extreme critic about movies. It's hard for people like Dad who have been raised to appreciate good literature to ignore bad plots in movies. If the story line has no body and is easily seen through then what is the purpose of watching the show, according to Dad. I'm also one who loves good literature but I do love to turn off my suspension of disbelief and just watch the movie and enjoy it for what it is! Well, the other day Dad was watching "The Time Machine"(2002). Now I apologize to any out there that liked this movie, but this is one of those shows that no matter how hard I tried to enjoy the movie, it just rubbed me the wrong way and in my book was really stupid! Dad thought so too, I remember! Anyways, he finished watching it and said that it was a great show. I couldn't believe my ears. I even stopped putting lights on the Christmas tree to look at Mom. I didn't have to say anything for her to understand why I looked at her. She said "I know! He likes movies now that before he would have thought were stupid." Oh, man I hope that doesn't last. I loved critiquing movies with Dad.
It's so hard to be around Dad sometimes because he seems so normal and yet he isn't. And it is so hard to explain to people that he is doing wonderful but he still isn't there. Don't get me wrong I am positive Dad will get back a lot that has been lost, but how much? I would rather have Dad the way he is now then loosing him so suddenly to such an awful accident, trust me. It just still blows my mind when he does things non Jim-esk! I think it will just take time to get used to.
Things aren't all negative like this post is starting to sound like. I apologize for that I'm not feeling pessimistic or depressed in anyway. I guess I just had more on my mind then I thought I did. It was wonderful to decorate the tree at Mom and Dad's the other day. We turned on our traditional "Harry Belafonte Christmas" and had a great time decorating the tree. We used a lot of old ornaments that were my Dad's as a child. They are the best ornaments ever. They are made of wood and are just different characters, some Christmas-y, some not. For instance, there is a basketball player and an angel. We added Dad's favorite Icicle Men and two little elves at the top. Dad sat by the fire and freaked out every time one of us stood on the ladder to reach the top branches! We drank hot chocolate and then let the kids have their turn. Erin and I sat by Dad while Mom helped the kids. We had a wonderful time and I am so thankful to add this to my Christmas memories.
One thing that I am extremely grateful that Dad has not carried over from before the accident is his kind of stand offish behavior when it came to showing affection to Erin and I. I mean, Dad always gave us hugs to say Hi and Bye, and always told us he loved us. It's very hard to explain. For instance, in church today I was sitting next to Dad and I put my arm around his back and was rubbing his shoulders or just relaxing my arm on the back of his seat. Before this Dad would just sit there and not really return the affection. Sometimes I felt bad but I knew that it wasn't because Dad didn't love me but that he was just raised in a different time. Well, today Dad put his hand on my knee to return the affection and left it there. I was so happy that Dad responded to my affections. I thought to myself, I hope that he doesn't loose this as he regains what he lost.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Day 36 of Jim's Recovery
Didn't get a chance to visit Dad again today. It's like now that he is home I'm not so worried about him. But I still feel awful when I can't go see him. Mom says that today Dad had a ton of visitors. He did pretty well because he got a chance to sleep between the visits. Thank you so much to Dad's friends at Coldwell Banker who brought my parents a Christmas tree. I was going to go buy one but you guys beat me to it! And thank you for doing that because mine was going to be a small Charlie Brown tree, apparently yours is big and beautiful. We are going over tomorrow night to help decorate. I'm so excited. Thank you guys for bringing Christmas to my parents. When Dad was beginning to remember the house he told us he wanted a real tree this year!
Mom had a serious scare today. She took the dogs for a walk and when she got back Dad told her he almost passed out. I guess he was at the computer (I don't know why, he can't read or write yet) and felt really dizzy then had a small black out. Now Mom is petrified to ever leave Dad. We are going to have to get babysitters for him whenever we leave. Dad goes back to the doctor on Monday. We will see what is going on. I'm wondering if perhaps there is something else going on besides his head injury. What if this was happening before the accident and he just never mentioned it to anyone, then finally one day he passed out completely and fell down the stairs? Matt (hubby) says with all of his MRI's something serious in the brain would have been detected. Perhaps and inner ear infection? Don't know but it makes me nervous.
Mom had a serious scare today. She took the dogs for a walk and when she got back Dad told her he almost passed out. I guess he was at the computer (I don't know why, he can't read or write yet) and felt really dizzy then had a small black out. Now Mom is petrified to ever leave Dad. We are going to have to get babysitters for him whenever we leave. Dad goes back to the doctor on Monday. We will see what is going on. I'm wondering if perhaps there is something else going on besides his head injury. What if this was happening before the accident and he just never mentioned it to anyone, then finally one day he passed out completely and fell down the stairs? Matt (hubby) says with all of his MRI's something serious in the brain would have been detected. Perhaps and inner ear infection? Don't know but it makes me nervous.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Day 35 of Jim's Recovery
Not much happened today. Yesterday, Mom took Dad to his primary physician. She called the doctor who was scheduled to see Dad after his discharge but the guy is a Nero Surgeon (of course he doesn't have time) and wasn't scheduled to see Dad until December 30th. I couldn't believe that Dad didn't have daily check-up care scheduled after his discharge from the rehab facility. I guess if you can't pay then your on your own. Love the system!
Anyways, Dad's been taking blood pressure medicine and we were told by a good friend that the medicine could be making him dizzy. So Mom took Dad in yesterday and they took him off the meds. Mom needs to watch Dad's blood pressure very carefully in case it goes up again.
Dad had been complaining about, well basically, restless leg syndrome! I guess that is his problem when we are in places like my cousins funeral and why Dad seemed so uncomfortable. He said that during the funeral he felt like he needed to kick his legs so bad it was painful. Plus, he complains about how his legs are weird. I don't know if you remember but when Dad was in his "sleepy" coma he would kick and flail his legs. I don't know what the doctor is doing to treat this or even if he can. This could be something Dad just has to work through as his brain heals.
Also, Dad is still having trouble with his right foot being painful. The doctor asked for the x-rays from the hospital. It almost seems as though he has pinched a serious nerve in his back. I went to rub his foot and barely had touched the bottom of his toes when he flinched away and said that it hurt. It was as if stretching the toe pulled something that caused him pain. So for now we have Dad's foot wrapped and he is on crutches. I guess that is better then a walker, I know Dad thinks so!
Dad is going to see a speech therapist this week who will help us do exercises at home. This is the most frustrating part because Dad gets so mad when we try to do exercises to get his speech back. He thinks the games are dumb or thinks he is too dumb to do them.
That's it for now. Will let you know how the therapy goes.
Anyways, Dad's been taking blood pressure medicine and we were told by a good friend that the medicine could be making him dizzy. So Mom took Dad in yesterday and they took him off the meds. Mom needs to watch Dad's blood pressure very carefully in case it goes up again.
Dad had been complaining about, well basically, restless leg syndrome! I guess that is his problem when we are in places like my cousins funeral and why Dad seemed so uncomfortable. He said that during the funeral he felt like he needed to kick his legs so bad it was painful. Plus, he complains about how his legs are weird. I don't know if you remember but when Dad was in his "sleepy" coma he would kick and flail his legs. I don't know what the doctor is doing to treat this or even if he can. This could be something Dad just has to work through as his brain heals.
Also, Dad is still having trouble with his right foot being painful. The doctor asked for the x-rays from the hospital. It almost seems as though he has pinched a serious nerve in his back. I went to rub his foot and barely had touched the bottom of his toes when he flinched away and said that it hurt. It was as if stretching the toe pulled something that caused him pain. So for now we have Dad's foot wrapped and he is on crutches. I guess that is better then a walker, I know Dad thinks so!
Dad is going to see a speech therapist this week who will help us do exercises at home. This is the most frustrating part because Dad gets so mad when we try to do exercises to get his speech back. He thinks the games are dumb or thinks he is too dumb to do them.
That's it for now. Will let you know how the therapy goes.
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