Day 39 of Jim's Recovery

Because Dad has reached a plateau in his development I'm only going to be updating this on Fridays and Mondays. If there are any significant events I will post them. Right now not much has changed. Dad continues to slowly get better but then goes backward in his development. We were told this from the beginning by the doctors. They said that Dad would get better quickly, then plateau, then later and all of a sudden there will be another big development, and so on. Dad continues to work on his language skills. Some days are better then others. One day Dad will start talking really well and the next he can hardly remember the right words he wants to say.

Dad's moods change drastically also. Mom said that the other night he was really tired around 7:00PM and needed to take a nap. Dad asked Mom to wake him at 8:00 because he said he kept waking up in the middle of the night. Well, of course Mom woke Dad up and when she did he was really mean and short with her. Very uncharacteristic of Dad. Yeah Mom and Dad get irritated at each other like any married couple, but apparently this was really bad. I can't recall the things Dad said but they were harsher then being agitated that he was woken up from his nap. I guess he did it again later that evening when she went into the bedroom to check on him and he was almost falling off the bed.

Dad gets extremely anxious also. He worries about little things that Dad never worried about before. On Thursday, my sister and I, and our kids went over to Mom and Dad's to help them decorate their Christmas tree. As the kids were putting on the non-fragile items Dad was extremely anxious about how the kids were putting the ornaments on the tree, that they kept dropping them, walking around the tree, and the correct way they should have been putting the ornaments on the tree. Dad never worried about silly stuff like that. Perhaps, he did but just had the coping skills necessary to not let them show. I'm not sure, but it is so strange to see Dad get worked up over little things like that.

One little thing that I noticed the other day that is uncharacteristic of Dad is his like for stupid movies! Dad has always been an extreme critic about movies. It's hard for people like Dad who have been raised to appreciate good literature to ignore bad plots in movies. If the story line has no body and is easily seen through then what is the purpose of watching the show, according to Dad. I'm also one who loves good literature but I do love to turn off my suspension of disbelief and just watch the movie and enjoy it for what it is! Well, the other day Dad was watching "The Time Machine"(2002). Now I apologize to any out there that liked this movie, but this is one of those shows that no matter how hard I tried to enjoy the movie, it just rubbed me the wrong way and in my book was really stupid! Dad thought so too, I remember! Anyways, he finished watching it and said that it was a great show. I couldn't believe my ears. I even stopped putting lights on the Christmas tree to look at Mom. I didn't have to say anything for her to understand why I looked at her. She said "I know! He likes movies now that before he would have thought were stupid." Oh, man I hope that doesn't last. I loved critiquing movies with Dad.

It's so hard to be around Dad sometimes because he seems so normal and yet he isn't. And it is so hard to explain to people that he is doing wonderful but he still isn't there. Don't get me wrong I am positive Dad will get back a lot that has been lost, but how much? I would rather have Dad the way he is now then loosing him so suddenly to such an awful accident, trust me. It just still blows my mind when he does things non Jim-esk! I think it will just take time to get used to.

Things aren't all negative like this post is starting to sound like. I apologize for that I'm not feeling pessimistic or depressed in anyway. I guess I just had more on my mind then I thought I did. It was wonderful to decorate the tree at Mom and Dad's the other day. We turned on our traditional "Harry Belafonte Christmas" and had a great time decorating the tree. We used a lot of old ornaments that were my Dad's as a child. They are the best ornaments ever. They are made of wood and are just different characters, some Christmas-y, some not. For instance, there is a basketball player and an angel. We added Dad's favorite Icicle Men and two little elves at the top. Dad sat by the fire and freaked out every time one of us stood on the ladder to reach the top branches! We drank hot chocolate and then let the kids have their turn. Erin and I sat by Dad while Mom helped the kids. We had a wonderful time and I am so thankful to add this to my Christmas memories.

One thing that I am extremely grateful that Dad has not carried over from before the accident is his kind of stand offish behavior when it came to showing affection to Erin and I. I mean, Dad always gave us hugs to say Hi and Bye, and always told us he loved us. It's very hard to explain. For instance, in church today I was sitting next to Dad and I put my arm around his back and was rubbing his shoulders or just relaxing my arm on the back of his seat. Before this Dad would just sit there and not really return the affection. Sometimes I felt bad but I knew that it wasn't because Dad didn't love me but that he was just raised in a different time. Well, today Dad put his hand on my knee to return the affection and left it there. I was so happy that Dad responded to my affections. I thought to myself, I hope that he doesn't loose this as he regains what he lost.