Day 12 of Jim's Recovery

Holy Cow, I can't believe what each new day brings. I walked in the room today and completely stopped in my tracks. Dad's bed had been raised up like a chair and Dad was sitting up! My jaw dropped. Dad was sitting up in a chair where yesterday he could hardly sit up with the physical therapist. Okay, the fact that the bed converts into a chair helps but he wasn't falling forward or trying to move. He was just sitting up, looking around, and listening. Amazing!

Dad was even more awake and aware then yesterday. It is just little steps and little differences but to me and my family these are hugely significant. Today Dad was really trying to communicate. He can't move his tongue to form words and can barely move his mouth so we have to listen really hard and decipher what he is saying from the sound of each word. We would like to announce that Dad has officially said his favorite cuss word! Yes, I thought you would all be quite pleased with him for those of you who know which bomber that one is!

While trying to communicate to us tonight he seemed like he wanted to tell us about how he fell. Now, we are not sure but we heard a few words and can only speculate how these things fit into the equation. Dad began to talk and somehow I thought perhaps he was trying to tell us about his fall, then he shook his head yes. As he continued to try to explain I heard the word "faint". So I asked Dad if he fainted and he said "yes". Now, when one faints I'm not sure if they can remember that they did, so perhaps he only thinks he fainted. Either way we wonder if that is how he fell. Dad then continued and it sounded like he said "vacuum" and "smoke." So I asked, "Was the vacuum smoking?" Again he shook his head yes. After that we could not understand what he was trying to explain but he gave the expression of surprise on his face. This made me think he was surprised to see the vacuum smoking. My interpretation is that he was kneeling and chipping away at the tile, perhaps he looked over and the vacuum was smoking which surprised him so he stood up fast, the blood drained from his head and he blacked out. Or perhaps he got up to use the vacuum, it began to smoke, he went to unplug it and he got electrocuted, which made him pass out. Such a mystery. I hope that when this is all over he can still remember. I have a feeling as his old memories come back the accident will be lost.

While I was there the physical therapist came in again. They worked with him again having him move up and down from his elbow in a sitting position. The PT didn't work so much with his hands but worked more with his core. She had him bend forward and backwards, this will help him learn to stand again. She also got him to stand, with help of course. Dad has a really hard time with his right side. He can't squeeze with that hand, or raise that arm, or move that foot. He does feel pain on that side which is excellent, but his brain is not recognizing the right side of his body. In essence his brain doesn't think the right side is there. So what happens is the stronger left side pushes against the right side and is meet with no opposition so he leans towards the right. When he is standing the left side pushed off and leans on the right side, which is bad because he can't hold himself up. So the PT wants to teach him to use the strong left side. She wants him to lean to use that side so that he can hold himself up with the left side. As soon as he can do that then they will begin to strengthen the right side and start working on those brain pathways again.

However, as I have watched Dad I have seen him use his right side. It's like he uses it when he is not concentrating on using it, if that makes sense. For example, I was doing some crossword puzzles with him this afternoon. I am awful at crossword puzzles and have to cheat my way through. Anyway, as I was reading one clue, Dad reached his right hand to me as if to take the pencil I was holding. So I gave that to him in his right hand. Then he reached for the paper with his left hand, again I handed him the paper. Then (and this is such a Dadism) he lifted the paper up and looked over the top of his glasses to see the paper and with his right hand he moved the pencil up to his mouth as if he were thinking! It was great. It was just how Dad always would look at the crosswords. Unfortunately the moment was over too quickly because some visitors walked in. It's just amazing how little idiosyncrasies are coming out.

Sadly though you can tell that Dad is extremely frustrated. He will try to talk and gets frustrated. You can see in his eyes that he is so mad at himself. You can tell he knows what is going on and what he wants to say but his brain won't let the words come out. Also, when he was working with the PT she said something and he gave her the stink eye and then looked up at the ceiling as if he were say "no duh!" Then as she asked him to kick her hand, I could tell that he was trying but the connections in his brain were not firing to put two and two together. There were a few times that he cried today. I am really afraid of Dad getting depressed. He already is but I don't want him to loose hope. Driving home from the hospital I began to cry, not because of my loss, but because I could feel the frustration Dad was feeling. I just want to jump in his brain and help him out. I hated leaving his side.

Keep sending Dad your positive energy and prayers. He now needs it to have the will power to keep trying. I know he wont give up but I hate to see him miserable. Again, love you all, and thank you for reading. Just because you haven't signed up as a follower doesn't mean we don't know you are reading! I love you all your reading this gets me through another day.